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Wednesday, 27 December 2017

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Tampered Trust



Today, I would like to discuss the oh so important topic of - Trust.
So, heres a question for you to look at yourself honestly and think about carefully -
Would you consider yourself a trusting person?
I've never really been the kind to have issues when it comes to trusting others. I've had many reasons not to, but have always remained pretty open to people. I've always looked at it as if someone was to break my trust then I hurt, forgive and move on, in whatever way I see fit, whether thats with or without them as a close part of my life. But lately, for various reasons I seem to have reached a point where I'm becoming much more cautions with placing my trust in people. I don't know if this is something that just gradually happens as you get older and the years of misplacing your trust in people takes a toll or what, but I'm interested by the logic behind this technique we use as a means to protect ourselves. 


Overall, would you say you are more of a 'trust until its broken' or 'trust is earned over time' kind of person? I refuse to allow myself to be an untrusting person even if it does 'help' in the process of trying to avoid getting hurt. I guess being cautious is a different matter and one in which makes more sense but the truth of the matter is - unfortunately, anyone can break your trust, even people who you least expect, so is there really much point in trying to avoid it happening? If its going to happen, then its going to happen and I suppose we can't really do much about it except cross that bridge when we come to it. It seems quite a shame to me, to spend life avoiding getting close to people or allowing ourselves to be a little vulnerable sometimes just incase we might get hurt? Just think of all the amazing and beautiful moments we could miss out on by trying to keep your distance and remain sheltered out of the fear of pain.


So, what do you do when you have reached the bridge only to find its been broken by someone whom you trusted, someone whom you least expected to be one to break it. Would you try to fix it ? or would you find a different route?  I suppose that answer depends on how bad the damage is and the amount of will power we have in the situation, it obviously also depends on weather the person who broke it is willing to put in the effort to help fix it too. Which leads me to my next questions - can trust be earned back or will it remain slightly damaged forever? Does time really aid issues of broken trust? Will you spend the rest of your time second guessing another's motives? Are the answers different depending on each individual and what it was that happened to create the break in trust or do some people just cope better? Can leopards change their spots?


I definitely believe that leopards can change their spots, sometimes people make mistakes/ bad choices, sometimes we fall into destructive patterns which we regret and want to try our best to put right and prove ourselves to our loved ones. I have seen times where people have recognised their faults, wanted to change and showed true regret, honesty and sincerity - they were forgiven and this worked out well and trust has been gained back. But more often than not, unfortunately, a lot of people don't realise their wrong doings until its too late or keep on making the same bad choices over and over again and the consequences of their actions result in more damage than what could be fixed. Which leads to them always being kept at arms length, a loss of trust, company and respect. This is often a pretty sad point to reach but I guess, sometimes it's a very necessary one to learn from for the future. To learn to be more considerate and thoughtful of our own actions and the effects that they may have on others, in and around our lives. We are blessed with consciousness and the ability to think therefore, we should use this gift we have to our advantage. It's not that hard to just stop for a moment and think before making a possibly destructive decision or one that we are going to later regret. To be aware of why we are making it or wanting to. I mean, I know that you can only think about things so much because we don't always know if something is good or bad for us, but as I see it, some are a given. Morally, there are some things that are wrong (Lying, cheating, stealing...ect.) - That are going to effect peoples trust towards you in a negative way, whether others choose to forgive/trust you again, is completely up to them but, its up to you to take responsibility for our own actions and to treat people with respect. Even more so if you've been lucky enough to receive a second chance. Don't take advantage of people, especially not the ones you love. Value them and the trust that they have placed within you. Love them wholeheartedly and be true to them.









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