One of my biggest challenges in life is finding the balance between two extremes. When I say this I mean discovering a healthy mix of the Little devil and angel that sit on my shoulders, just waiting for any chance they get to bombard me with each of their one sided opinions. On one hand, lies my selfish, impulsive, reckless side - my devilish thoughts that entice me into my wildest fantasies. On the other hand, there's the empathetic, caring, loving, angelic side of me who cares dearly about my own & others health and happiness. My 'angel' is the one whom I often spend the majority of my time listening to - sometimes too much - to the point where I drive myself insane trying to make sure I'm doing the 'right' or 'good' thing. I really don't like to cause any drama, unnecessary upset or chaos for myself or for others around me and by listening to my angel, I do my best to avoid this.
(Images by Sam Davis)
We often put way too much pressure on ourselves, to keep people happy, to make the right decisions, to avoid upsetting a rhythm in our lives but we have to remember that there is only so much we can do to avoid these things and ultimately you may be trying so hard to keep things steady and to please people that you may end up making yourself unhappy in the process. I always say, living in extremes is a bit like jumping onto a rollercoaster and letting it take you on a crazy ride without needing to put any effort into knowing how to control it. Finding a balance is slightly more difficult as it requires time and effort to learn how to drive yourself through the highs, lows and loop-the-loops without completely loosing your marbles. I always think its important to learn from what is difficult, to embrace the things in which do not come second nature to us. I search for balance and sometimes I manage to find it for a while before I eventually loose it again but Im cool with that, I like to feel crazy sometimes. Like I said, it feels great to shout - F*ck It - and do your own thing if you feel the need, its like a huge release. It's just that we usually come back to the realisation that we do care about others in our lives and their thoughts and feelings. Its about finding the balance - wouldn't it be amazing if more often than not you could find a middle ground where you didn't feel like you were pushed to the point of saying - F*ck it all - and not caring anymore?
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