The art of listening

 "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."   ~ Rainer Maria Rilke 

So, today I want to discuss the art of listening. To ourselves and to others. It may seem like such a basic thing but honestly, its not as easy as you may think. I strongly believe in the importance of learning to listen and communicate with patience and empathy. To not just half-heartedly hear another's words but for that moment - rid yourself of all distractions and completely focus on what is being said to you. Immerse yourself in the information they are choosing to share with you, their reasonings, their voice, their emotions. Even if it goes against all in which you may believe or wish to be true.

Lets take, arguments as a perfect example of when people are most defensive and not truly listening to each other - One shares their opinion and the other starts to view them as 'the bad guy' because their opinions are opposing. Rather than listening with an open mind and trying to understand where the other person is coming from, we feel attacked and vulnerable, therefore our defence mechanisms come out in full force, all hell breaks loose and we end up going to war. Obviously, we would like to avoid this (I mean, I'm no Buddha, but in these cases - can't a girl aspire to be ?!) but when we become passionate about something and emotions are involved, this can be extremely difficult to handle. Especially, when things get heated - Ohhhhh man - is it a special art to be able to recognise when to just shut up and listen ! Although, it is such a useful skill to possess. To allow someone to try to connect with you, to share their point of view, to enable you to help each other grow both as individuals and also closer together. To put yourself in each others shoes and see through their eyes, for just a moment. Even if in the end you still don't agree, its important to be able to listen and self analyse. It is definitely a hard task to listen to someone tell you about your flawed behaviours, especially if its a loved one. You kind of feel hurt at the fact that the more they get to know you the less they view you as 'perfect'. The truth is you aren't 'perfect' and they aren't either - none of us are. But maybe...just maybe... what this person is trying to tell you, could be a truth that you need to hear and by listening, it could possibly aid you in working towards a better version of yourself.

Life can be fast paced and stressful. We aren't all monks that dedicate all our time to enlightenment and we don't always have the time to give our undivided attention to as many aspects of life and self development as we may wish, therefore we may not always be completely aware of some of our behavioural patterns or we may just simply ignore them because we're not yet at a point in our lives where we're prepared to make certain sacrifices or put in the effort required for us to grow and welcome the next chapter with our new self. Ultimately, it comes down to priorities. When you wholeheartedly love and care for someone, whomever it may be, their wellbeing becomes a priority. Their happiness and self growth is very important to you. When I say this, I don't just mean other people in our lives, I mean ourselves too. Listen to yourself and what is going on inside, deep down you know yourself better than anyone ever will. This is not easy - growing this kind of relationship with yourself and others is a long winding path, its not a straight road. Learning to listen to both our own and others needs can be exhausting and challenging and it is much more difficult than it sounds to put into practise in our daily lives yet, it is one of the most rewarding and necessary things you can do, to create a life for yourself that you are deeply satisfied with. It is a dedication to the truth. Communication is a precious tool that we are so blessed to have, which we unfortunately take for granted way too often but by doing this we are left feeling unfulfilled. Don't make this mistake - Listen to your self and your own needs and follow them, be open to listen to others and you will learn to love and appreciate yourself, others and your life a little more everyday.